shoulda, woulda, coulda...

"Grace can neither be earned by your merit nor forfeited by your demerit. If you sometimes feel you deserve an answer to prayer or a particular blessing from God because of your hard work or sacrifice, you are living by works, not by grace. But it is just as true that if you sometimes despair of experiencing God’s blessing because of your demerits—the “oughts” you should have done but didn’t, or the “don’ts” you shouldn’t have done but did — you are also casting aside the grace of God."